Journal

you know what?

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 20:13:33 GMT

I don't think that I've ever enjoyed or loved looking into someone's eyes as much as I do with her.

I could do it all day.
This might be something else.
=]

I am happy.

EVERYBODY!!!

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 19:10:30 GMT

I just made a new livejournal FINALLY.

so pleeeeaassee go add me k?

itsagoodexcuse

thats the username.
thankkkks

=]
ily.

Doo itt.

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 23:22:07 GMT

Leave me a comment and I will:

1) Tell you why I friended you.
2) Associate you with a song/film.
3) Tell a random fact about you.
4) Tell a first memory about you.
5) Associate you with a character/pairing.
6) Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
7) Tell you my favourite user pic of yours.
8) In retort, you must spread this disease in your LJ.

I promise to answer.

The only word for it is..

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 02:48:41 GMT

WONDERFUL.

The dance was absolutely wonderful. Catlin asked me out again and that just made life brighten up in what seemed like the two seconds it took me to accept and kiss her.
Things have been so good since HAF. =]
I'm just..happy.
Happy that I have my girlfriend back.
=]
Just happy.

So, how are all of you?

Sat, 10 Feb 2007 06:22:36 GMT

I can't help but listen to the THONG song.
I just can't.

XD

Today

Sat, 10 Feb 2007 06:16:34 GMT

was pretty good.
Pretty boring though.
Algebra is getting fun.
Christian is very entertaining.
=]

I really like Romeo & Juliet.
It's so good.
XD

Hmm. Well, I am STOKEd for tomorrow.
COMPLETELY stoked.
Giovanna decided to go at the last minute cause her and Marina were at my house and she tried on my dress and wanted to wear it so now she's going to go.
:D:D
I am excitedddd. I'm really glad she's going. It wouldn't be the same without her.
it really wouldn't.
I REALLY wish Marina could go but unfortunately her mother is being exactly..well,..her.
=|
I hate it. i really do.

But anyways. yay for HAF.
I'm glad it all worked out.

And as of now, i wish i went to Roseville too.
Things would DEFINETLY be nicer.
i would love to see taylor so much.
=]]

It's raining...

Fri, 09 Feb 2007 00:02:31 GMT

Pretty good too.
=]
It was nice to walk home in.

So, me and Catlin started to walk home but when we got to the street corner where we part neither of us really wanted to seperate so we just stood there for awhile.
Justin walked up to his on HIS way home and talked to us for a little while. He really irritates me. I can't talk to him at all ewithout him telling me what drug he's on or what drug he's going to do that day. And he told me exactly FOUR times today how much money he made. UGH. I realllly don't care. And I'm really not into doing drugs with him the way he thinks EVERYONE is. It's so dumb. It's like he has NO common sense.
Urgh. It just reeallly annoys me and everyone else.

But after he left I was just standing there with my Umbrella and Catlin. It was nice. I just waved and smiled at people. Haha. It was really funny too. We saw a bunch of people I knew walking home and said hi and everything and i saw Sam! I haven't seen her since last year. So it was nice to see her too.
We were on that corner for like an hour and a half. Hahaha. But eventually we went home. But it was really like..weird fun. Like how many people have so much fun on a street corner? :D

ahh
anywaysss, im worried about my money problem right now.
i STILL have to get marina's christmas present, my taste of chaos ticket, money for Denny's, Picture money or whatever, and possibly my hair.
UGHHHHH.
i DONT have that much money.
ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh
im kind of worried.
but me and catlin decided to split the cost on pictures so that each one of us pays 10$.
which i can do.
then i need to get about 10 dollars for Denny's.
annnd I need to reserve money for taste of chaos ticket which will be like 30-40 dollars.
and marina's christmas gift is going to have to wait a little while because its expensive.
><
i need to talk to my mom about getting my hair done.
i have NO idea how to do my hair the right way. and ireally dont wnat my mom to do it. she pulls and tugs so it hurts really badd.

jeez. and i dont even know how much money i really have.
XD

p.s. i don't think im going to church on sunday because im sleeping at catlin's dads house which is far away and i probably cant make it there by 9:30.
sorry taylor.
=]

Umm.

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 03:06:13 GMT

I don't really know what to update.
I mean everything is pretty much the same.
I'm definetly getting better. =]

All of this drama with Taylor/Julian/Emily is just so...unneeded.
For all of them.
Taylor does NOT deserve to get hurt again.
Emily doesn't either.
And Julian is just...=|
I don't know.
I've been in his place before. And I know it's difficult but the way he dealed with it made me so angry.
It was immature and stupid.
But whatever.

I'm getting more and more excited for HAF.
I thought all the talk about it would bother me but it really doesn't.
I got used to it.
Catlin dress is soo pretty.
She's gonna look amazingg.
=D
ahh.
AND we're going to Denny's.
YEE.
=]=]

Excitedddd.

I'm falling behind in Algebra. It's getting a little difficult and my Math Lab class sucks.
EVERYONE in that class insists on goofing off and acting like TOTAL idiots.
And because of them I can NEVER get my work done and my questions answered.
Therefore, my work goes unfinished because I don't understand and I can't turn it in on time.
It's reallllly starting to piss me off.
Ughh.

Comp Art is just..=|
Ugh. I don't like it that much.

I'm not passing Biology. That stupid test KILLED me. So, I have a NC.
=/
That really sucks because progress reports went out today or something.
=[

English is getting interesting.
I like Romeo & Juliet. It's so fun.
=]

Anyways, that's all for now.
Gosh, my life has sort of been the same for awhile now.
HOW LAME.

Someone should SPICE it up. WINKWINK.

=]

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 15:10:39 GMT

YAY.
I woke up this morning and my excruciatingly annoying headache was pretty much gone.
=]]]]
my ears still hurt!
but thats okay.
im mostly getting better.

that is a verrry good thing.

Ughh.

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 04:25:08 GMT

I'm pretty damn sick.
My fucking nose is sooo clogged and I've had the worst headache I've ever had all day now.
I can't move my head certain ways.
And it's given me a HORRIBLE earache.
-sigh-

I WILL get better by Hearts of Fire.
Giovanna's livejournal made me a little irritated.
I understand how she feels, I reallllllly do.
But she blew Valentine's day and the Dance way out of proportion.
She's only making it out to be horrible.
And she probably thinks I think that because I have a date so I feel differently.
But even if I didn't I wouldn't feel differently.
I think if couples just want to celebrate their relationship for no really good reason then more power to them.
Because I know I would want to do the same if I were in a relationship.

Anyways, I think Catlin knows how much she's driving me crazy.
I like surprises, I do.
But when I KNOW it's coming and I don't know what it is for a WHOLE WEEK.
AHHHHHHH!
I am driving myself crazy wondering and guessing.
But it must be good, because every time i urge her to tell me she gets a large smile and says "nope!".
=]
I'm kind of excited.

I'm sad that Stephuu and Taylor aren't coming but it's still going to be GREAT.
I loooove seeing everyone ALL dressed up.
=]]
yee.

now, it's time for me to get BETTER!

p.s.

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 05:54:38 GMT

i need to stop thinking i have feelings for like everyone.
enough is enough.

To wrap up the day:

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 05:47:23 GMT

Catlin is killing me by not telling me what this other part to her "plan" is and she knows it.
rawr.

I'm sick.
I'm almost never sick and now I am on the week of Hearts of Fire?
=|

I don't think Taylor and Stephuu are coming to Hearts of Fire.
=/
I really wanted them to too.

I don't think I'm going to go to school tomorrow.
I really should but I don't think it's going to get better by tomorrow.
So, I will just stay home or something.

Also, I can't stop thinking about Hearts of Fire.
I think it's going to be really fun and I'm uberly excited.
:D

Good night.

zomg

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 02:05:01 GMT

my hair is growing!
it is seriously getting longer!
omg excited?
YES.

totally pointless entry=ending.

You know what?

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 01:46:38 GMT

I'm really glad that she's the one I'm going to the dance with.

I don't think I would REALLY want to go with anyone else.

Yay for happy moods.

I

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 23:35:02 GMT

wish that I could just be beautfiul and skinny.
That's all I want.

Please don' t reply with "you are" or "why?".

This is just a journal.
One where I write what I'm thinking.
And that's what I'm thinking.
That's all I want.

You know what?

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 19:35:16 GMT

I was just sitting here doing this survey and all of a sudden I was thinking about that Puerto Rico trip.
Me and my cousin Angelica bonded as cousins for the first time on that trip.

I just remembed the talk we had.
She told me about how her father (my Uncle Greg) hits her.
She showed me a couple bruises.
I remember her telling me it was under control, even though I knew it wasn't.
She told me not to say anything but that she just wanted to tell someone.

And now I ask myself, why the fuck didn't I do something??

Jesus Christ.

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 02:35:30 GMT

ALL of this stupid fucking drama is NOT needed.
I mean, Jesus.

And it just keeps getting worse and worse.
=/
I want it to stop.

AHHH

Sat, 03 Feb 2007 05:45:19 GMT

i bought my dress!!
its sooo pretty.
its red and black.
but mostly red.
im soo happy that i got it.
wow!
my plans fro hearts of fire are suddenly really good.
:D

plus, taylor and stephuu are doubling with me and catlin.
:D!
yeeee

Sat, 03 Feb 2007 02:35:13 GMT

Ahh.
Johhny the Homicidal Maniac makes me sooo happy.
:D

dress shopping. <3

She

Fri, 02 Feb 2007 05:29:17 GMT

asked me to Hearts-Of-Fire.
Today was the best day all week.

I went to her house and she told me to go look at her mirror and so I did and it said in big letters, "Will you Go To Hearts of Fire with me?".
I was ALLL smiles.
and of course i said yes.

=]

so, yay.
i hope giovanna isn't mad or anything.
and i hope we can still dress shop and all that together.
oh boy, am i excited.

today

Thu, 01 Feb 2007 23:32:50 GMT

is DEFINETLY a good day.

i am very happy.
more later.
=D

Thu, 01 Feb 2007 05:26:58 GMT

Today was kind of lame.

Biology was weird.
We made babies.
I made babies with three people.
~~slut~~

Math Lab and PE were the same as always.
=|

Blah Blah Blah.
Nothing really good happened today.
But something good is always something dramatic.

While they were all at the Clover Valley thing I was supposed to be studying. And I did, mostly. But I looked at MCR posters. And MCR merch.
And stuff.

I cannot resist.
Well, lame ending to a LAME day.
seeya.

I don't follow these rules of a limited amount. PSH.

Thu, 01 Feb 2007 04:42:08 GMT

stWrite down ten different things you want to say to somebody, but don't say to who. Make each one a different person.

1. I love you so much and I want you to know that. I want to stay close to you but by doing the things you do and saying some of the things you say to me, you and I are losing our bond. It makes me cry. I just want it to be like it was when I was nine and you were the most important woman in my life.

2. I wish you wouldn't be so firm and mean. Sometimes, you can say awful things and not even realize that your hurting those around you. I try not to be a drama queen, but what you did to me is something I will never forget. I remember exactly what it was like and after it happened and everytime I cry. I hate you for it. I wish you could know that.

3. I love you. SO incredibly much. More than I love anyone else. I want to say Thank You. I can honestly say that I would NOT be who I am today AT ALL if it weren't for you. You have had such a huge impact on my personality and just everything about me. I don't care if you don't graduate with flying colors, you did it. And that is the most amazing thing. I've never met anyone so strong and brave the way you are. I will look up to you for my whole life.

4. I want you to be okay. That's it. I want you off medication. I want you to feel good about yourself. I want you to be who you used to be. What you've become is only a versoin of you, to me at least. Your different. And I knew this would happen. It makes me hurt so much how you've changed. I just want middle school. I hate that but I do. I want you to be the girl I fell in love with, I want you to be the best friend I taught how to kiss when we were wasted. I want that so bad, but we don't always get what we want do we?

5. Words can't possibly describe the way I feel about you. I truly love you. I love who you are so much. I met you almost four years ago and I knew we would be best friends. A lump comes to my throat when I think of how you are now. I love you still, so incredibly much. But you've just got so many problems now. And I feel like some are my fault. I love you SO much and nothing can ever change that. No matter how you may change throughout high school, you will always be my very best friend that I walk home in the rain with and that I tell absolutely everything to. I love you.

6. You know what? I honestly, do not like you. I don't know why, but I just don't. Your immature and childish. And I hate the way you woo my closest friend so much. She deserves so much better.

7. You are just. . .you. I can't say anything else. And you know what? I'm sorry, but I can't help but like you. I JUST do. It gets in the way. It causes problems. And I'm sorry. I know you didn't mean it and I know you would have never wanted to, but yes, you did hurt me. Very much. I miss you. I miss how we were. We could have worked. We really could have. I believe we just needed to give it a little more time. I'm trying to get over you..but it is not easy. I want to go to your house and hang out with you and laugh with you but my mind wanders when I'm with you. I'm on clouds when I'm with you. And that's something that I cannot help.

8. Ahh. Part of me wants to say no to you. I don't want to get into that life. That fucked up life. I don't. But you know what? At the same time, I want to hand over that money and tell you to hurry up.

9. You don't make any sense to me. At all. I try to get close to you and you pull away? Well sorry, stupid boy. I'm not going to wait around until YOUR ready. I'm just not. People love you so much and so many girls think your so cute but you don't know shit. About relationships and about girls feelings. I'm not going to waste my time trying to get you to notice me or like me more than her because I just don't care that much about you.

10. You are a boy. You really are. You like me and I like you. But you know? It's just lust. I hate that. It makes me feel really slutty. But I want nothing more from you than a good time. Your a player. And I hate that I like you. I don't want to. At the same time, I want to get close to you and help you change but whatever. You are you.

11. You are honestly a beautiful girl. And you understand so many things. You have so many girls that like you. It makes me smile. I know it's a hard and confusing time for you right now and you know that I'm here for you. Nevertheless, I am attracted to you. And I can't help it. But you know, that it's okay if nothing happens between us. I sure am happy enough being your friend. =]

12. You are an amazing girl. You are COMPLETELY gorgeous. You, too, are going through a very hard time that I have gone through as well. I am attracted to you, also. I don't know what to do about it. But we've been friends for quite awhile so I'll be okay if it stays that way. But when I'm with you..it's a little different. I don't know how long I can go without kissing you. I really want to. But I know it would probably only complicate things.

Sorry, if those are too long. This was really relieving though. Maybe you can guess who you are.

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 05:32:23 GMT

umm.
interesting night?
yeahh, =].

welllll, i gotta get offline.
but i was going to post ALOT. but then i didn't.
=|

mmk, 'night.

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 05:04:46 GMT

I woke up today and read.
I just read for like 20 minutes.
Then i was informed that i HAD to help Dad out in the yard.
So, for the next two hours I strained my back and tired myself out in the bakcyard.
I HATE yard work.
SOOOO much.

Then I was REALLLLLLY tired so I KIND OF took a nap.
I just sat around like the whole day.
Then i ended up going to the movies with my Mom instead of Giovanna. =|

The care broke down and me and my mom were stuck in the car alone for like 15 minutes. So I taught her how to play Tetris and we both sat there playing Tetris.

WOW.
What a great day.